To: ME From: ME
Me. Who am I/me? Do we ever truly take time to know/find this? When we are in the process of growing up, we are told not to be selfish. This robs us right away of the "me". Or so it did me. It was well meaning of people who were trying to teach us that thinking of ourselves first is wrong. To sit day dreaming is wrong. No time for dreaming, it is not practical. No time for that. No time for that sort of play or believing. Hurry up now, we will be late. Color in the lines! This is the only right answer your guess is not right. Even though the instructions say to estimate. "She is so different from her Sister". "She should BE her Sister...this is how I judge her. Her Sister is so well behaved! She never acts out. She never cries when I say things like that. No, you must play with so and so. We want to be pillars in the community. We want things put in the paper. Who we lunched with. When our birthdays are celebrated, who came? No, do not go down by that pond. You can use your imagination there. There is calm by that water. DANGER! You must not enjoy yourself, you may be hurt or die~! Be careful up in that tree! Don't challenge me, I am God~~~!!!! Do you want a spanking? I will,you know I will! I have about had it with you~~~!!! Do you want me to tie you in that Bed? You have to go to bed before any good show is on television, so don't you dare sneak over there and watch! Creative? no we don't have time to create! Must be here and do that when so and so is there. Alone? why would you want to be alone? To Dream? Dreams are not practical. I did not get to have my own dreams, so you cannot have time to find yours, to find out who YOU or ME is. Me. I am Me. I am Bright, Creative, Talented, Pretty, Intelligent! How DARE you think that???? Thats so Rude and Selfish.!"
I am Me. I am the I. I am the wonderful Blue Eyed Blonde 3 year old with the pretty red socks. Don't go by the water to wash those socks!! They did not tell me that the reason not to go by the water was because they were afraid I might fall in and drown. TELL ME. Explain WHY. Don't assume that I will absorb the why of anything. I do not know how to do that,yet.
Me. I am Me. We are Me, You are We and We are all together! This may seem a bit mental, but I am typing what comes to mind as it does so. I will take some time to decipher it at a later time. Now I need to get it out, get it down on paper.
Me, I am Me. Is that not enough to know?
Yes it is. Me will tell me later what me wants. Right now me wants to simply be. Yes BE!!
Hugs ME, I LOVE YOU.
Katie
To those reading this. I feel better having written. Thanks
Adding this on at a much later date. It is now the end of 2021. Lots of water has run over the dam. I must have been a bit angry when I first wrote this. I am glad I did write it. Things have changed a LOT since 2007. I was mad because of the way my parents parented me. I have been doing a lot of soul searching and realized that I was NOT a perfect little girl. I was probably depressed. Just looking back at some of the photos of the past, I did not look happy in very many of them. Probably because I did not want to stop what I had been doing to take a danged picture. Over the years I have come to the conclusion that life is just what it is. Everyone just gets along, doing what they have been taught or come to believe on their own, is the right way to live. So many people try to find sense in things, what is MY goal. What to do when that goal is reached, where do I go now? Is this all there is? YES! This is all there is. Today. Now. Live each day the best you can and you will be okay. Trust me, through a lot of ups and downs, just do your best. I is all that is needed to do. Really! There is no magic potion. No Prince, no devined future. Stop looking. See what you have right at home. The Pandemic should have taught us all something. Did id? I don't know. I hope so.