What follows is a letter that one of my students, Judi Zillmann, wrote to her Inner Critic aka The ICK after doing the first journey in my workbook, The Art of Fiction Writing or How to Fall Down the Rabbit Hole Without Really Trying. Identifying, understanding and defanging the ICK is one of the most important journeys that creative people can take. It is the ICK who blocks us and stops us from writing from the deeper truth of our creative passion.
The first step to defanging the ICK is knowing that you have one and understanding that the Inner Critic is not all of you but rather one voice of many inside your head; it is, however, for many of us, The Voice who seems to be in command.
This letter from Judi to her Inner Critic is a unique and creative articulation of the truth that the Inner Critic cannot be killed. It must be defanged so that if can be brought into a working, if subservient, relationship to our self.
Read Judi’s letter and then begin exploring your own ICK. So that Judi’s piece makes sense, you need to know that the first journey in my workbook is titled, Journey to the Rabbit Hole.February 21, 2004, 11:33 AM
A letter to my inner critic, by Judi Zillmann
The lion looked mean to me as he roared his massive head; he paced around the hole in the ground, dirt flew up, his eyes grew wide as he dared me to come near. I made a quick move to see if he would follow me with those eyes or even worse his body. I didn’t want him to attack me. I wanted him to go away. I needed to get into that rabbit hole. As I watched his movements and his eyes, I tried to look away but his stare was inviting and at the same time very frightening.
“Listen here lion,” I said, “That is my rabbit hole. I can go into it any time I want and you will not stop me!”
“ROAR!” He went. “ROAR, ROAR!”
“Why your just a big, ugly pussy cat – anyone can see that. You think you can scare me with that loud voice of yours. You don’t realize my roar can be much louder, ROAR!” I went.
His eyes got wide as he backed away.
“I can overcome my fear of you,” I told him. “You think because you’re bigger than me that I’m afraid of you. Well, let me tell you, you big fat ugly beast, you can be tamed. Come see for yourself this moist piece of steak I brought just for you. I know we can be friends. I need you to be here. You will always be a part of me. Without you by my side, I might not ever see the good, the bad and the ugly; you bring out some of the ugly just by being you; you will teach me the good as we learn from our travels deep down in that rabbit hole. I hope you understand that with you by my side, we can accomplish anything. So don’t stand in my way. There is a journey that we will take together, if you will become my friend.”
The lion paced, drew back and ran ferociously around my rabbit hole; his tail waived in the air and he looked angry, about to leap. I threw the meat at his feet. He looked around side to side, then stood still. He seemed confused.
I walked a step closer to see what he would do; he didn’t move, but his eyes followed me. I took another step and to my surprise he hung his head as he walked toward me, moving with quiet steps that scared the heck out of me. Then he laid down beside of me, his eyes grew soft, his tail seemed to wag, and his roar was quiet as he nuzzled closer.
Slowly, I reached with my hand – it was hard to believe that this beastly lion that I feared had laid down beside of me. I touched him. He seemed to understand that there was a bond between us and I was no longer afraid of him. I wanted to travel down that rabbit hole, to see what was yet to be. I watched in silence as he slept by me and finally laid my head down on his side. He didn’t make a move. I was in awe of this beast this animal that was not afraid of me.
We slept for hours and when he woke, he jerked up and away from me. I froze as he backed slowly away and over to that rabbit hole. Then, it seemed, he was motioning to me. As I walked toward him, he roared and shook his head, but the roar was no longer fearsome. The lion was tamed. He was pacing in a circle around the rabbit hole, waiting for me. I saw him smile. The fear was gone. He was tamed. He roared, but it seemed more like a call this time.
“What is it, Lion? What is it you want?”
He looked into that rabbit hole, then looked at me.
“It’s O.K. Lion, we have a long way to go, but together we will make it, for we’re friends now not enemies.”
Saturday, February 28, 2004
Saturday, February 14, 2004
Happy Valentine's Day to Your Inner Writer!
The other day I sent this out to people on my mailing list.
It is my hope that some of you post your answers.
However, I did get an interesting email asking me "What exactly is my inner writer? I am confused. "
This is what I wrote back to her.
In answer to your question about the Inner Writer,
let me ask you:
What do you think the Inner Writer is?
If you're not sure, put pen to paper and write this:
Dear Inner Writer,
Who are you?
Then start writing without thinking or questioning what comes out and don't stop writing until you're done.
Hint... if you write negative or judgmental things, you're not writing from you Inner Writer.
Let me know how it goes.
Emily
If you, too, are wondering who or what the Inner Writer is, try writing to her/him. And if you do,
why not post your answers here.
If you'd like to post to the blog, just send me your email at emily@emilyhanlon.com and I'll send you
and invite. Then you can start posting.
Happy Valentine's Day!
Oh, and here's the original email on Happy Valentine's Day to Your Inner Writer:
And for those of you who did not receive the original Valentine's Day to the Inner Writer, here it is!
Here's an idea I had in the shower the other day-- a great Valentine Day's present to yourself from yourself.
Write a love letter to your Inner Writer!
Then put pen to paper and ask your Inner Writer to write one back to you. Or visa versa.
If you've never written to or heard from your Inner Writer, this is a great way to start. I know your Inner Writer wants to hear from you and you can bet your computer you want to hear from her/him!!
If you love your letters (and I hope you do!) and want to share them, email me your email address (if you've already become a member, just log on) and I will add you to the blog membership. Then you can post either or both of your Inner Writer love letters.
And while you're at the blog page, be sure to see what's been posted lately. Don't miss C.T. Baker's fabulous Inner Critic blog entry on February 8: Clogs 101: Symbol of a New Student's "ICK".; Guaranteed to inspire!
The Writer's Exchange interactive blog is at
http://www.thefictionwritersjourney.com/blog2.html
And if you haven't read the second installment of The Five Ingredients of the Scene that I recently posted,
that is at http://www.thefictionwritersjourney.com/blog.html
Happy Valentine's Day! Happy Writing
and don't forget to love your
Inner Writer and your writing!!
love and passionate witing,
Emily and Lyra (the name of my Inner Writer!)
It is my hope that some of you post your answers.
However, I did get an interesting email asking me "What exactly is my inner writer? I am confused. "
This is what I wrote back to her.
In answer to your question about the Inner Writer,
let me ask you:
What do you think the Inner Writer is?
If you're not sure, put pen to paper and write this:
Dear Inner Writer,
Who are you?
Then start writing without thinking or questioning what comes out and don't stop writing until you're done.
Hint... if you write negative or judgmental things, you're not writing from you Inner Writer.
Let me know how it goes.
Emily
If you, too, are wondering who or what the Inner Writer is, try writing to her/him. And if you do,
why not post your answers here.
If you'd like to post to the blog, just send me your email at emily@emilyhanlon.com and I'll send you
and invite. Then you can start posting.
Happy Valentine's Day!
Oh, and here's the original email on Happy Valentine's Day to Your Inner Writer:
And for those of you who did not receive the original Valentine's Day to the Inner Writer, here it is!
Here's an idea I had in the shower the other day-- a great Valentine Day's present to yourself from yourself.
Write a love letter to your Inner Writer!
Then put pen to paper and ask your Inner Writer to write one back to you. Or visa versa.
If you've never written to or heard from your Inner Writer, this is a great way to start. I know your Inner Writer wants to hear from you and you can bet your computer you want to hear from her/him!!
If you love your letters (and I hope you do!) and want to share them, email me your email address (if you've already become a member, just log on) and I will add you to the blog membership. Then you can post either or both of your Inner Writer love letters.
And while you're at the blog page, be sure to see what's been posted lately. Don't miss C.T. Baker's fabulous Inner Critic blog entry on February 8: Clogs 101: Symbol of a New Student's "ICK".; Guaranteed to inspire!
The Writer's Exchange interactive blog is at
http://www.thefictionwritersjourney.com/blog2.html
And if you haven't read the second installment of The Five Ingredients of the Scene that I recently posted,
that is at http://www.thefictionwritersjourney.com/blog.html
Happy Valentine's Day! Happy Writing
and don't forget to love your
Inner Writer and your writing!!
love and passionate witing,
Emily and Lyra (the name of my Inner Writer!)
Sunday, February 08, 2004
Poetry Series in Mt. Kisco, NY
NWCA Creative Arts Cafe Poetry Series MOVES TO FLYING PIG FARM MARKET CAFE
NYC POETS WELCOME FOR A POETRY IN THE COUNTRY SETTING of Mt. Kisco
www.nwcaonline.org www.pigcafe.com
The Mt. Kisco Flying Pig Farm Market Cafe will be hosting the award winningCreative Arts Cafe Poetry Series for Spring 2004. Located at the Mt. Kisco Train Station, it's an easy commute from Grand Central on the Harlem Line (Brewster North) to the Mt. Kisco Train Station. The Flying Pig is famous for its wine and gourmet foods from local farms and orchards. Its warm, welcoming atmosphere makes it the perfect place for readings. As usual, there will be a feature poet at 7:30 followed by and open mike.. Also, if you arrive early, beginning at 6:30, the Cafe will offer a pre-reading buffet of selected gourmet they are famous for preparing will seasonal ingredients. There is a suggested donationof $5.00 at the door including coffee. Call Cindy Beer-fouhy at 914 241 6922 ext 17 for more information. Log onto www.pigcafe.com for directions.
Housed for 8 years at the Northern Westchester Center for the Arts, The Creative Arts Cafe Poetry Sereis received the Best of Westchester Poetry Series Award from Westchester Magazine in 2002.
Past features included Kenneth Koch, Billy Collins, Mark Doty, Gerald Stern, Amiri Baraka, Molly Peacock, John Hollander, Jean Valentine, Collette Inez, Sekou Sundiata, Cornelious Eady, Stephen Dunn, and hundreds more. Readings are funded, in part, by grants from the New York State Council on the Arts and the Bydale Foundation.
Check out the Cafe's site with menu samples and a history of the Flying Pig.www.pigcafe.com
Following is a schedule of Monday night readings planned so far:
Feb 9th 7:30 - Poet Brenda Connor-Bey - Celebrate Black History Month with award winning poet, writer and arts-in-education consultant, Brenda Connor-Bey i- a co-founder of New Renaissance Writers Guild, founder of MenWem Writers Workshop and a member of the Harlem Writers’ Workshop and the Poetry Caravan. Brenda will read selcetions of her work from her book Thoughts of an Everyday Woman/An Unfinished Urban Folktale and her new chapbook Spirit Seeker.
Feb 23rd 7:30 - HS Poets and Writers Night with HS teacher feature.
March 1 7:30 - Poet Kevin Pilkington and Ira Joe Fisher and OPEN MIKE
March 8th 7:30 - Poet Hal Sirowitz and Amanda Stern and OPEN MIKE
March 29th 7:30 - HS Poets and Write4s Night with HS teacher feature
April 12th 7:30 - Poet Susan Kinsolving and OPEN MIKE
April 19th 7:30 - Jean Valentine and Sally Bliumis and OPEN MIKE
April 26th 7:30 - Mt. Kisco's FAVORITE POEM PROJECT -pay homage to your favorite poet -read your favorite poem
and celebrate National Poetry Month by carrying on the oral tradition of poetry. Readings by
featured community particapents and celebrities and an OPEN MIKE!
May 3rd 7:30 - Poet Alessandra Lynch and OPEN MIKE
May 10th 7:30 - Vijay Seshadri recipient of the James Laughlin Award and Open Mike
May 17th 7:30 - ALAN SKLAR - A Special Evening of Short Stories by Saki read by freelance voice actor Alan Sklar
June 7th 7:30 - Poet CHARLES MARTIN -Mythology in Poetry at the Flying Pig -
two-time Pulitzer Prize Nominee Charles Martin Charles Martin reads from his new translation of
Ovid's Epic Poem - Metamorphoses followed by OPEN MIKE
More to come....
NYC POETS WELCOME FOR A POETRY IN THE COUNTRY SETTING of Mt. Kisco
www.nwcaonline.org www.pigcafe.com
The Mt. Kisco Flying Pig Farm Market Cafe will be hosting the award winningCreative Arts Cafe Poetry Series for Spring 2004. Located at the Mt. Kisco Train Station, it's an easy commute from Grand Central on the Harlem Line (Brewster North) to the Mt. Kisco Train Station. The Flying Pig is famous for its wine and gourmet foods from local farms and orchards. Its warm, welcoming atmosphere makes it the perfect place for readings. As usual, there will be a feature poet at 7:30 followed by and open mike.. Also, if you arrive early, beginning at 6:30, the Cafe will offer a pre-reading buffet of selected gourmet they are famous for preparing will seasonal ingredients. There is a suggested donationof $5.00 at the door including coffee. Call Cindy Beer-fouhy at 914 241 6922 ext 17 for more information. Log onto www.pigcafe.com for directions.
Housed for 8 years at the Northern Westchester Center for the Arts, The Creative Arts Cafe Poetry Sereis received the Best of Westchester Poetry Series Award from Westchester Magazine in 2002.
Past features included Kenneth Koch, Billy Collins, Mark Doty, Gerald Stern, Amiri Baraka, Molly Peacock, John Hollander, Jean Valentine, Collette Inez, Sekou Sundiata, Cornelious Eady, Stephen Dunn, and hundreds more. Readings are funded, in part, by grants from the New York State Council on the Arts and the Bydale Foundation.
Check out the Cafe's site with menu samples and a history of the Flying Pig.www.pigcafe.com
Following is a schedule of Monday night readings planned so far:
Feb 9th 7:30 - Poet Brenda Connor-Bey - Celebrate Black History Month with award winning poet, writer and arts-in-education consultant, Brenda Connor-Bey i- a co-founder of New Renaissance Writers Guild, founder of MenWem Writers Workshop and a member of the Harlem Writers’ Workshop and the Poetry Caravan. Brenda will read selcetions of her work from her book Thoughts of an Everyday Woman/An Unfinished Urban Folktale and her new chapbook Spirit Seeker.
Feb 23rd 7:30 - HS Poets and Writers Night with HS teacher feature.
March 1 7:30 - Poet Kevin Pilkington and Ira Joe Fisher and OPEN MIKE
March 8th 7:30 - Poet Hal Sirowitz and Amanda Stern and OPEN MIKE
March 29th 7:30 - HS Poets and Write4s Night with HS teacher feature
April 12th 7:30 - Poet Susan Kinsolving and OPEN MIKE
April 19th 7:30 - Jean Valentine and Sally Bliumis and OPEN MIKE
April 26th 7:30 - Mt. Kisco's FAVORITE POEM PROJECT -pay homage to your favorite poet -read your favorite poem
and celebrate National Poetry Month by carrying on the oral tradition of poetry. Readings by
featured community particapents and celebrities and an OPEN MIKE!
May 3rd 7:30 - Poet Alessandra Lynch and OPEN MIKE
May 10th 7:30 - Vijay Seshadri recipient of the James Laughlin Award and Open Mike
May 17th 7:30 - ALAN SKLAR - A Special Evening of Short Stories by Saki read by freelance voice actor Alan Sklar
June 7th 7:30 - Poet CHARLES MARTIN -Mythology in Poetry at the Flying Pig -
two-time Pulitzer Prize Nominee Charles Martin Charles Martin reads from his new translation of
Ovid's Epic Poem - Metamorphoses followed by OPEN MIKE
More to come....
Saturday, February 07, 2004
Publication News
Kelly Steed’s essay “Fiber Optic Hamster” has been accepted for the anthology Haunted Encounters: Personal Stories of Departed Pets from Atriad Press. It will be released in April/May 2004. Her first solo novel Camelot’s Revenge an alternative history about JFK’s assassination will be released by JoNa Books in Oct. 2004. Author’s Website: http://home.att.net/~s.c.ninlil.c.b
Friday, February 06, 2004
More from Lightfoot
Writing for me is not a way to make money. This might yet change, but truthfully, it is not a matter of great importance to me. I want what I have to say to be read---not from any vanity, although I am quite vain about my seventy-seven year old still head-turning person---but because I have no doubts whatsoever that what I have to say is of great importance in decelerating mankind's headlong plunge into self-destruction.
Some years ago, I fell over a book with the arresting title Soul Murder : The Effects of Childhood Abuse and Deprivation. It drew me like a magnet. Its author was a Jewish shrink, and the blurb on the dust jacket began like this: "To abuse or neglect a child, to deprive the child of a separate identity and joy in life is to commit soul murder." A reviewer summarizes the content of this book brilliantly: "It is a work of great intellectual rigor and moral beauty." That pretty well sums it up.
The author, Psychoanalyst Leonard Shengold analyses among others, the writings of Dickens, Chekhov and Kipling---all survivors of the most inhumane and dehumanizing early child abuse, all of them obessively prolific writers, and he comes to the conclusion that soul murder can be defused in part through the process of writing.
I have found this to be true---certainly for myself. In all likelihood, not for myself alone among the respondents to this blog.
I am Hanny Lightfoot-Klein. lightfoot@klein.com If Emily doesn't mind, I'd like to read what you have to say.
Lightfoot
Some years ago, I fell over a book with the arresting title Soul Murder : The Effects of Childhood Abuse and Deprivation. It drew me like a magnet. Its author was a Jewish shrink, and the blurb on the dust jacket began like this: "To abuse or neglect a child, to deprive the child of a separate identity and joy in life is to commit soul murder." A reviewer summarizes the content of this book brilliantly: "It is a work of great intellectual rigor and moral beauty." That pretty well sums it up.
The author, Psychoanalyst Leonard Shengold analyses among others, the writings of Dickens, Chekhov and Kipling---all survivors of the most inhumane and dehumanizing early child abuse, all of them obessively prolific writers, and he comes to the conclusion that soul murder can be defused in part through the process of writing.
I have found this to be true---certainly for myself. In all likelihood, not for myself alone among the respondents to this blog.
I am Hanny Lightfoot-Klein. lightfoot@klein.com If Emily doesn't mind, I'd like to read what you have to say.
Lightfoot
Thursday, February 05, 2004
From Hanny Lightfoot-Klein: The Creative Soul
Here’s to the pioneers.
The ones who see things differently.
The out-of-step ones.
The visionaries.
The troublemakers.
The boat-rockers.
The round pegs in square holes.
They challenge the rules.
They defy the status quo.
They demand to be heard. They refuse to back down.
You can disbelieve them, disagree with them, disrespect them, shout them down, ridicule them, shame them, vilify them.
But you can not ignore them.
And you can not stop them.
Because they change the world.
lightfootk@gci-net.com
The ones who see things differently.
The out-of-step ones.
The visionaries.
The troublemakers.
The boat-rockers.
The round pegs in square holes.
They challenge the rules.
They defy the status quo.
They demand to be heard. They refuse to back down.
You can disbelieve them, disagree with them, disrespect them, shout them down, ridicule them, shame them, vilify them.
But you can not ignore them.
And you can not stop them.
Because they change the world.
lightfootk@gci-net.com
Sunday, February 01, 2004
From Anna
Anna wrote this poem on my Writing, Creativity and Ritual Retreat
in Italy this summer. Anna is from the Netherlands and following the poem
in English, is the poem in Dutch.
In your eyes I see sorrow
and my grief is revealed
In your eyes I see love
and I feel acknowledged
In your eyes I see fear
and my apprehension flows forth
In your eyes I see your soul
and it touches my own
I see my beauty in your eyes
as your radiance is reflected in mine
I see Woman, Goddess, Life
I am Woman, Goddess, Life
I am the source of Creation
In je ogen zie ik verdriet
en mijn verdriet wordt gekend.
In je ogen zie ik liefde
en ik voel me gekend.
In je ogen zie ik angst
en mijn angst begint te stromen.
In je ogen zie ik je ziel
en mijn ziel wordt geraakt.
In jouw ogen zie ik mijn schoonheid
en mijn ogen reflecteren jouw licht
Ik zie Vrouw, Godin, Leven
Ik ben Vrouw, Godin, Leven
Ik ben de bron van Creativiteit
in Italy this summer. Anna is from the Netherlands and following the poem
in English, is the poem in Dutch.
In your eyes I see sorrow
and my grief is revealed
In your eyes I see love
and I feel acknowledged
In your eyes I see fear
and my apprehension flows forth
In your eyes I see your soul
and it touches my own
I see my beauty in your eyes
as your radiance is reflected in mine
I see Woman, Goddess, Life
I am Woman, Goddess, Life
I am the source of Creation
In je ogen zie ik verdriet
en mijn verdriet wordt gekend.
In je ogen zie ik liefde
en ik voel me gekend.
In je ogen zie ik angst
en mijn angst begint te stromen.
In je ogen zie ik je ziel
en mijn ziel wordt geraakt.
In jouw ogen zie ik mijn schoonheid
en mijn ogen reflecteren jouw licht
Ik zie Vrouw, Godin, Leven
Ik ben Vrouw, Godin, Leven
Ik ben de bron van Creativiteit
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